I’m ready to give feedback when…

When it comes to giving difficult feedback successfully, it’s far less about what you say and much more about how you make them feel. Since so much of our emotions are transferred in an interaction like this, having the right mindset going into the conversation makes all the difference.

Brene Brown created this brilliant check list to help check whether you are in the right frame of mind for this kind of discussion.

I’m ready to give feedback when:

• I’m ready to sit next to you rather than across from you.

• I’m willing to put the problem in front of us rather than between us (or sliding it toward you).

• I’m ready to listen, ask questions, and accept that I may not fully understand the issue.

• I want to acknowledge what you do well instead of picking apart your mistakes.

• I recognize your strengths and how you can use them to address your challenges.

• I can hold you accountable without shaming or blaming you.

• I’m willing to own my part.

• I can genuinely thank you for your efforts rather than criticize you for your failings.

• I can talk about how resolving these challenges will lead to your growth and opportunity.

• I can model the vulnerability and openness that I expect to see from you.